The Smoothie
by AndroZeus
Summary: Oh hey, look at what I wrote BEFORE LSODM! *cries everywhere*


Valkyrie blinked the tears from her eyes, angry at herself. She couldn't afford to act like this. She'd just gotten married. This was a happy occasion. She didn't understand why Fletcher's death had hurt so much. Crystal had suggested it was because she never got to say sorry, but… she had gotten to say sorry. More than once…

Ghastly leaned towards her. "You okay, Valkyrie?" he asked, visibly worried about his newly-wed best friend's wife.

"I'm fine," Valkyrie bristled. She looked around. Most of the guests had arrived already. Only Skulduggery and a few others, including Tanith, were running late. The latter had lately learned to control her emotions in order to feel compassion, essentially restoring her former self.

When Fletcher had been decapitated by Sanguine using the last remaining God-Killer, and Myra had foolishly attempted to take revenge, only to be split in two length-wise, Valkyrie had requested that Fletcher's hair be magically reinforced, implanted onto a mannequin head and displayed at her wedding to honour his unprecedented bravery in these last few months of his life.

And there it was, eighteen feet to her left, in a glass case on a pedestal of marble. Looking as majestic as it always had. A beautiful memory.

A motorbike pulled up outside, and a young blonde jumped off and skipped inside the pavilion. "Hey guys!" she called.

Valkyrie smiled and waved.

Ghastly stared for a few seconds before Valkyrie gave him a light slap. He jumped. "Thank you," he muttered, getting up and walking over to kiss his girlfriend.

Anton Shudder walked in, looking really, truly depressed. He was followed by Dexter Vex and a few English Sanctuary agents with some connection to Skulduggery's past.

Valkyrie frowned at Anton's expression, but went to greet all of them, as was her duty.

After she'd been introduced to the Sanctuary agents, Vex asked to speak to her alone for a moment.

"You can see something's up with Anton, I presume?" Vex whispered.

Valkyrie nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"The thing is, he had quite the crush on… Fletcher's girlfriend, Myra. Her death hit him hard. He hasn't been the same since it happened." Vex looked worried. "It's unnerving. Anton Shudder has always been the most stable of the Dead Men. I don't like it."

"Er… wow," Valkyrie muttered, trying not to look amused. "I hope he comes around after that…"

"Yeah," Vex said, striding away with a smile plastered to his face.

In that moment, a 1954 Bentley R-Type Continental, one of only 208 ever made, pulled up the driveway, and Valkyrie sprinted out to greet her husband. Skulduggery got out of the car, smiling as always, and Valkyrie kissed his jaw.

"Where were you?" she asked.

"A woman identifying as Vaurien Scapegrace was caught snooping around the Sanctuary, and for some reason, they wanted me for the interrogation."

"Ok, that's just weird."

"It is indeed," Skulduggery agreed, handing her a box of chocolates. "Here's your most cliché gift yet."

"Thanks, Skulduggery," Valkyrie grinned. She could practically feel his adorable awkwardness.

As they went inside, the caterers began distributing drinks. Smoothies, as per Valkyrie's request.

Valkyrie chose a seat opposite Tanith, and Skulduggery sat next to her, opposite Ghastly, her hand in his. A moment later, smoothies were set down in front of the four of them, and Valkyrie grabbed hers, smiling. She lifted it to her lips and began gulping it down.

Suddenly, something stuck in her throat, and she gagged, going red. She noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that the glass case on the marble pedestal was empty. She clawed at her mouth, feeling the soft texture of Fletcher's hair. Skulduggery flexed his fingers panickedly, attempting to manipulate the air to pull the hair away from her mouth, but magic seemed not to affect it.

Valkyrie tried to gasp for air, but her airways were blocked. Just before she thought she would pass out, her survival instincts kicked in, Valkyrie went away and Darquesse stood, knocking over her chair and ripping the hair from her throat with brute force, quickly healing her windpipe.

Darquesse looked around, grinned at Skulduggery and shot upwards and through the roof of the pavilion.

Skulduggery sighed audibly. "Not again!"

And he threw his arms upwards, shooting off after his wife's psychopathic, world-destroying alter-ego.


End file.
